There Are No Ugly Christmas Trees

Not any of those public trees I talk about below–my tree before it’s decorated

This post comes about for two reasons: first, I was looking at some very public live Christmas tree somewhere as it was being unloaded–at the White House, or Rockefeller Center, or perhaps even in St. Peter’s Square at the Vatican (through the marvels of TV, of course!)

Wherever this tree was, it didn’t look very attractive initially. In fact, I remarked to the Spoiler, “ugh, that’s an ugly tree!” And then I stopped, thought a moment, and changed my mind. Once all the lights and ornaments and decorations–garland, tinsel, whatever people choose to put on trees–is all put up, there really are no ugly trees.

I also reminisced about Christmas tree shopping with neighbors for “cut your own” trees. These neighbors would traipse all over the acres of trees on offer, leaving behind pieces of their outerwear on promising trees–a mitten here, a scarf there–all so that they could go back to find the “best” tree.

After an hour or so of this, they were tired, cold and utterly confused–and we had already cut our tree and were waiting back in the warming hut with hot chocolate!

These days, because I remember that so well, I rarely look at more than 3 trees. I raise my arm, and if the tree is taller than that, it gets rejected as too tall (once the tree is in my giant stand and has the top on it, it’s usually just right). I tend to prefer a “narrow” tree because it needs to fit between a desk and the couch (see the photo above) And because none of us is getting any younger, I now go with balsam firs instead of fraser firs because I have to carry it and put it up myself, and balsams are lighter.

And so, once the tree has all its decorations, it looks glorious–at least to my eyes. You would scarcely realize that this tree has no top–or to be more precise, the “top” is in the wrong place. It’s off center. It’s to the right in the above photo. I had to put the bow on a distinctly skewed top–but since there are no bad trees, it makes no difference. All those ribbons hide everything.

So if you are one of those types that agonize over picking a tree, never mind. Save yourself some time next year and spend the time buying gifts or drinking cocoa or something else enjoyable instead!

4 thoughts on “There Are No Ugly Christmas Trees

  1. The Chatsworth Lady December 6, 2021 / 8:44 pm

    Oh gosh, I remember when the tree-choosing was such a big deal, I almost dreaded it. The tree had to be full, but also had to be at least 12″ taller than the ceiling of the room, so that it could be cut shorter and be “full right to the top” (this was not MY criteria, I hasten to say!) It also had to be a Douglas Fir … no balsams allowed by He Who Held the Purse Strings. Of course it was my job to keep it watered every day, and I’ve grown willows less thirsty than some of those trees.

    The kicker was that the Then-Spouse insisted on covering the trimmed tree with so much tinsel (at least a dozen packages’ worth, usually more like 15) that most of it couldn’t even be seen, LOL. It was so glittery that it looked more like a pear-shaped, stationary disco ball than a tree. I swore off live holidays trees immediately after I was no longer in that home situation but can still recall vacuuming up needles as late as early April! :-O

  2. gardendaze December 7, 2021 / 6:04 am

    Wow–thanks for a chuckle first thing this morning!

    Your story reminds me of my days in retail gardening when people came in to buy landscape trees–but those are stories for another time!


  3. tonytomeo December 9, 2021 / 1:44 am

    I dunno; those fuzzy red cones that Mrs. Trump put into the white house were rather ugly.

  4. gardendaze December 9, 2021 / 5:02 am

    Ugh, I wasn’t thinking of anything like that! I have seen some tinsel trees that would make some of your “horridculture” stuff look positively beautiful too!


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